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Fall Television Offerings Itamar Moses -- 10/17/2005  YESTERDAY’S NEWS An otherwise ordinary man begins to magically receive newspapers that are a day old, right at his front door! In the pilot episode, he struggles with the existential implications of this unasked-for gift, and realizes he must use it as a force for good, attempting to avert disasters two days after they’ve already happened, with no success. Frustrated, he begins to bet on sporting events, also without success. MEDICAL BILL ‘Medical’ Bill Jenkins is not a doctor. He’s an enforcer for a collection agency who visits the homes of sick people to make them pay the money they owe for the exciting tests, surgeries, and medications that were a part of their last hospital stay, which we never see. In the pilot episode, a woman, who, just before the episode begins, has had to make a terrible choice between her conjoined twin sons, returns home, childless, after the surgery goes awry. Bill visits the bereaved erstwhile mother to make sure she pays for the operation that killed her children. REAL WORLD VS. ROAD RULES VS. GODZILLA Join us as all your favorite housemates and travelers from twenty-plus seasons of Road Rules and The Real World are systematically stomped to death and torn limb from limb by a giant lizard that emerges from the sea following a nuclear accident that takes place during an eclipse. Will tempers flare? Will romance bloom? Who will walk away with the giant check for one-hundred thousand dollars and who will be unable to walk away because his or her legs were mangled in the slavering jaws of a Monster from the Deep? LAWYER SHOW Blah blah blah lawyers. QUEER EYE FOR THE ENTIRE FASHION, MUSIC, MOVIE, AND FOOD INDUSTRIES, AND A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF POLITICS, TOO Watch as an entire nation’s tastes in clothing, entertainment, and cuisine are more or less wholly dictated by homosexuals, who are also slowly infiltrating the government. From the makers of Jew Eye For The Banks And Newspapers. CARL SNYDON SITUATIONAL COMEDY PROJECT Remember Carl Snydon, your favorite supporting player on your favorite hit show? Well now he has his own show! It might be a spin-off in which he plays the same character, who has now moved across the country, or got a new job, or died and went to heaven (there were a bunch of different pilot ideas), or maybe in which he plays a whole new character, like the father of a crazy family, though that didn’t test well because he’s kind of young, or a doctor at a crazy hospital, I mean, where the people are eccentric, not literally a hospital for crazy people, or he’ll be living with a bunch of roommates, or alone, but have neighbors. We frankly don’t know yet. We keep “retooling” it. That’s code for “it’s dumb.” No one knows how to break to Carl that he can’t carry a show. We’ll probably just drop it into a bad slot, mid-season, and let it sink like a stone. CRIME SCENE TAMPERERS end of page 1 [ 1 ] read more ... [ 2 ][ 3 ] |
